The Straw

Ya know that old saying.. "it was the straw that broke the camel's back"?

These past several, well 8 months, have been filled with stress, tears, fear, hope, joy, tender mercies and just about every other type of emotion. I've always been a big believer that the Lord will never give us more than we can handle. So why is it that I keep thinking...really??? YOU think I can handle this too??? and then in the same breath, I'm so happy that I only have to handle my own trials and not the trials of those that surround me. To often I get to consumed with myself to recognize how good I really have it. I'm so thankful, really I am.

But yesterday just about sent me over the edge. I got home later than the rest of my family from church because of a meeting that I attended. I walked in to find my dear, stress out husband in a way that I'd never seen him. The next few hours are a big fast blur. I found myself surrounded by family, friends, neighbors and medics. As I looked a Todd who had no clue what was happening being carried off on a stretcher, I felt that dang piece of straw. It wasn't until I looked into the eyes of a scared 11 boy that had been so strong for me, that I thought..what else...seriously what else. What am I suppose to learn from this trial? I wish my thick head would learn it fast so that we can move on...

Todd is fine. He came home a few hours after arriving in the ER. He had a reaction to a pain med that he was taking for his kidney stone that he is still trying to pass. Yet another tender mercy, it could have been so much worse. I got him home and settled and left the girls with my mom who drove over to be with us, and meet up with Shayne for his Priesthood preview night. Talk about extremes. I sat with him and was reminded of the power of the priesthood. As shaky as I was from the vast range of emotions that I'd just encountered, I could feel of the peace, the power and love that is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Surrounded by friends and my one and only son learning about the power that is the priesthood.

I'm more convinced today, than ever before, that the Lord is aware of me and my family. And even though I feel like I've been beaten up, put through the ringer and hung out to dry, I see first hand the Lord's tender mercies. I can see the "light" at the end of our "tunnel". I just wish I had a faster car to get me to the end.